Wednesday 9th November 2011

Today was okay, I had one lesson, which was awesome! Only one hour of college! My driving test is on monday and i’m kinda nervous. Okay that’s an understatement, I’m unbelievably nervous. Seems as it’s my second test, I feel that if I’ve failed once, then I will again. I know I’m being pessimistic, it’s one of my worst traits: my inability to see positive outcomes in whatever I do. It’s a different story when it’s other people, I can be optimistic then. I just have low self esteem I guess. Tomorrow will be exactly two months until my 18th Birthday! Wow. I ‘ll be old-ish. I don’t want to be 18, I quite liked being 16, 17 sucks: majory. This year has been crap. I’ve also decided I regret EVER dying my hair. I want it long and natural and the only way to do that is to shave it all off. Well maybe just grow it out but then it will look horrid for like 6 years! For my 18th I want to go shopping in the new shopping centre in London where all the celebs go, at least this year I won’t spend it crying in my room because I’m another year older ( I’m a weird child). I really want a Kindle.Their so cool, it’s facinating you can have hundreds of books all in that tiny tablet shaped thing. Deffo one for the christmas list! :)

Fearless

Taylor Swift made me FEARLESS to SPEAK NOW.

and I said Romeo save me, I’ve been feeling so alone, I love you and that’s all I really know.

(Source: ifreakinlovetaylorswift)

(via ifreakinlovetaylorswift)

(via rippedstainedjeans)

Keep fighting and be Fearless.

Every day is a struggle, to go to college and continue my facade of being okay, of smiling on the outside and screaming on the inside, banging against invisible walls, hoping someone will hear me, someone will tell me that everything is going to be okay. Every night tears stream down my face, hastily wiped away in shame, I don’t want this, this constant worry and pain, the knot in my chest, the constant feeling in the pit of my stomach that never goes away, sometimes I can mask it; sometimes I can barely contain it. I’m completely alone in this harsh world; no one truly cares. It’s all about gain, money and greed. If I ever get the chance, I will change the world. I’ll help someone and ask for nothing in return. I never want anyone to feel how I have felt. I wonder if there are people feeling the same as me, I know there is: I want to reach out to them and tell them its okay! If we carry on fighting we can be fearless! We can beat this and come out the other side stronger! It gets better! I’m sure which is why I won’t give up; I want to live each day like it’s my last, to make mistakes and learn from them.

I want my hair like this :)

(via ifreakinlovetaylorswift)

(Source: thecrazyfilipino, via physicspies)

jaydarnold:

literally envy her beauty

(Source: ninabush, via jaydarnold-deactivated20110612)

“People haven’t always been there for me but music always has.”